“You cannot help men
permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”
– Abraham
Lincoln
(1809-1865)
Former U.S. President
One of the
things I have been known for in my coaching is giving homework. In fact, I give some kind of an assignment
after every coaching session. All have
to be written out, send back to me before our next talk. Why do I do this? It is not to keep people busy. I believe that there is no success without
action. So my desire is to get you
started taking some kind of action.
Many in coaching know that you
will occasionally find a person who does not want to do much work for
themselves. They have all the good
excuses that they are too busy (like you have nothing to do), family problems,
not feeling well and on and on. They ask
you to "help" them come up with a goal, set a plan and even pass on
information to them that they could find themselves.
Here is the real problem, some
coaches actually do it. Please remember
this simple rule: Do not do anything that your client can do for him/her
self. No matter how simple it is or that
you have ready access to some information, allow them to do it for
themselves. You can tell them where to
find it, but let them find it.
You are not being hard or unkind
here, you are helping them to grow. The
better they learn how to discover information for themselves and how to design
and plan out their goals, the faster they will not need a coach. Coaching is not therapy. There should always be an end to coaching in
sight. Otherwise, the client will start
to slow down and just depend on the next session to get them through rather
than their own work.
I have a basic policy of only
four coaching sessions (This is my way, I am not saying it is what you should
do or that more sessions are a bad thing.
Just sharing my experience). I
feel that for the type of coaching I do, it should be done in four sessions and
the person is on their way. I am there
to help with questions and issues along the way, but the regular sessions are
done. Going in, my clients know what to
expect, what the homework will be and when I expect it. I have found this to work very well.
The best way to see progress and
achievement come to a person's life is to allow them to do as much work on
their own as you can. Yes, they will
make mistakes and have to do some things over, that is okay. Mistakes are how we learn. What they will gain is the ability to think
ahead, set and plan of action and get things done. That will bring them success.
You matter to the world. You are here to make a difference and that
difference is good. Remember the
qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best. Love God.
Have good manners. Discover the unknown.
Change the world.
John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker,
and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books,
training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our
website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.
© 2014 John
Patrick Hickey
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