Few Words are Always Better

“Have something to say, and stop when you are done.”

– Tryon Edwards

(1809-1894) American Theologian

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

– King Solomon

Proverbs 10:19 / NASV

Few things can harm a coach / client relationship more than a coach who does not know when to be quiet.  Coaching is the ability to give sound guidance and direction, however, you cannot do that if you talk more than you listen.  The client is paying for you to help them, not to hear your opinions on everything from theology to your vacation plans.

                Successful coaches have learned that the more they listen and learn the better they can give the direction and help their clients need to achieve their success.  Here are a few ideas you can use to help you hear more words than you speak.

Listen More Than You Talk

                One of the things you may want to do is note the amount of time you are talking and the time you are listening.  If you are talking - no matter how good you think that talk is - more than you are listening, you are talking too much.  Listening needs to be active and focused.  If you are thinking of what to say, you are not listening.

Listen to What is Not Being Said

                If you listen to what your client is saying and how they are saying it, you will hear what is not being said.  They may be talking as if they are confident and certain on what they wish to do, but do you hear fear or worry in their voice?  This can direct the conversation to what is really the issues they need to deal with.  Do not just listen to words, listen to emotions, to the hints that say what is not said.

Answer Questions

                In our desire to help someone, we often will try to answer the questions that they never ask.  Where our intention may be good, it can very confusing for the client.  When asked a question, answer that question.  Many times we can answer by leading them to another question that is more relevant to their situation.  Never try to impress a client with how much you know.  Help them to discover just how much they know.

End With Instructions

                If you have some direction or an assignment you want them to do, give this information at the end of your conversation.  Do not be using their time with you to cover your own agenda.  Allow them that time to talk and question, then, when your session is done, give them the instruction they need to move on.  Doing this at the end of a session will also help them to remember the assignment better.

                You matter to the world.  You are here to make a difference and that difference is good.  Remember the qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best.  Love God.  Have good manners. Discover the unknown.  Change the world.

John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2014 John Patrick Hickey