“Coaching is a profession of
love. You can't coach people unless you
love them. .”
– Eddie Robinson
(1919-2007)
Coach
"Little
children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."
- Saint John
1 John 3:18 /
NASV
We all, if
we are honest, know that for many who believe in Christ, the principle of love
is known, quoted and taught, but not always understood and practiced. It is hard to love all people. I have always said there are two common statements
that I might agree with in principle but not in reality. One is, "There are no stupid
questions." I have heard many, very
stupid questions in my time. The other
is, "I have never met a person I did not like." Sorry, but I have met several who I did not
like at all.
So where does this leave
us? If we are to love everyone, what do
you do with the client or even family member, that we do not really like? Here is a principle of God that really is
amazing. When we learn to show love, we
begin to experience love. When you care
enough to become invested in the lives of others, you begin to really care about
them. How does this happen? I really do not know, but I know it
does. Here are seven ways you can show
love in your coaching practice that will allow you to really care for those you
are helping along the way.
1) Practice listening
When you are with a client,
listen to what they are saying and what they are not saying. By that I mean that if you really listen, not
just to words but to what and how something is being said, you will hear the
real problem or difficulty. Listening is
an active part of coaching and takes our full attention. Not only will you learn from listening but
you will help and encourage those you listen to.
2) Show kindness
Mark Twain once said,
"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can
see." There is no greater tool to
bring two people together than kindness.
When you show kindness and caring to others you will begin to feel true caring
for them. You cannot truly be kind
without love at the base. In turn,
others respond to kindness with love and trust.
3) Be honest
I have sadly seen some, in the
name of honesty, say cruel and unkind things to others. The idea that by being hurtful you are
"speaking the truth in love" is a lie. Love does not hurt but heals. You must build a relationship with a client
that they understand that you will always be honest but never hurtful. Yes, we do not always like to hear the truth,
but we know that, as it says in Proverbs 27:6, "Faithful are the wounds of
a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."
4) Give guidance
As a coach, it is your job as
well as your duty to give clear, solid and good guidance. Be willing to really help those you meet
along the way. Do not just give then
answers you think they want or you feel they deserve, but give the best advice
and guidance you are capable of giving.
5) Do not take or give excuses
We do not take excuses for
failure from those we love. Failure is
not a bad thing. For one, it
happens. For another, we can learn great
lessons from failure. Where the problem
comes in is when we make excuses for it.
Help your clients to take responsibility when they make a mistake. Likewise, you be responsible for your own
mistakes. Remember the words of Benjamin
Franklin, "He who is good at making excuses is good at very little
else."
6) Expect excellence
If you expect your client to
fail or fall short, they will most likely not disappoint you. The same is true for expecting
excellence. If we expect our clients to
succeed with excellence, they will most likely not disappoint us there
either. Love expects the best of others
and gives the best in return.
7) Be an example
Many who come for coaching have
a hard time acting like a success-minded person because they have never met one
before. Be that success-minded person to
all your clients. You will never be
perfect, but you can be excellent. Not a
show, but for real. Be sure that your
are practicing personal discipline, spiritual development and are showing the
principles of hard work, good morals and strong character. You are the success your clients seek.
You matter to the world. You are here to make a difference and that
difference is good. Remember the
qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best. Love God.
Have good manners. Discover the unknown.
Change the world.
John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker,
and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books,
training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our
website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.
© 2014 John
Patrick Hickey
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