Success In Coaching: March 2014

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Let Me Take You There

“All coaching is, is taking a player where he can't take himself.”

– Bill McCartney

(1940- ) Author / Coach

I think we have all heard the old saying, "Those who can do, those who can't teach." There is some degree of truth in that. One of the best places to see this is in the area of professional sports. Now, I know that many great coaches were once great players, but that is the key word - were. Many have retired and went on to teach others the things they have learned.

A coach is there to help the players be their best, and win the game. Over recent years we have heard too many times of the idea that "Everyone wins". This is what we teach our children in school. Well, that is nonsense. Everyone does not win, only those who can play the best win. There is no shame in willing and there is no shame in loosing - unless you win even though you lost.

Coaches should always be focused on their client winning the game of life. People do not hire a coach so they can learn how to be mediocre. They can do that on their own. They want a coach to help them learn how to win, and win big.

Get out of you head this idea that in order to win other have to lose. That is not how winners see it. Success-minded people (winners) see winning as being their best and doing the best. They want others to do well, and encourage them to also be the best, however, you cannot control the lives of others, only your own. Success-minded people realize that to be the best takes work, dedication and persistence. It will not come to them simply because they want it or think it is their turn.

Help your clients know that you are there to help them win - and win big. Encourage them to want to be a winner in life. Push them to work hard at their dreams, harder than they ever worked before. Encourage them to keep going even when they want to give up and quite. You are the coach and it is your job to get your players to be the best they can be. They win and you win.

You matter to the world. You are here to make a difference and that difference is good. Remember the qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best. Love God. Have good manners. Discover the unknown. Change the world.

John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com. © 2014 John Patrick Hickey

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Committed To Success

“A Coach is someone trained and devoted to guiding others into increased competence,

commitment, and confidence.”

– Frederic Hudson

Author / Coach

Coaches are faced with an incredibly difficult task. You not only have to believe in those you coach, in their success, ability and in their dreams, but you must have the same level of enthusiasm and belief in each of your clients. This belief is not the ability to pretend to be excited or to successfully convince each one that you are cheering for them, this belief must be real.

Successful coaches understand that this is the very nature of coaching. It is in our hearts to see people succeed and to be their best. It is our passion to make a difference in the lives of other people. Nevertheless, this is difficult to maintain on a regular bases. I would like to share a few simple things a coach can do to help them achieve the best level of coaching that is in them.

See Each Person As Unique

We know that our Creator, the One True God, sees all humanity as individuals, not a one massive group. When Christ hung on the cross for our sins He did it for each one of us. You too need to see that each person who you have the opportunity to work with is unique and special. You will never have two clients who are the same. By recognizing this you can better see the needs and give the guidance that each person needs without getting them confused with the mass.

Believe In The Power Of A Dream

In your coaching experience you will hear many different dreams and goals from your clients. Some will make you think, "This one is really off the wall". However, you must believe that a dream has great power. That God in His wisdom may have been waiting for someone, just like your client, who believed they could do the impossible. Remember, the coach does not give or deny the dreams of others. We are there to help them move forward and discover the dream for themselves.

Honesty Is The ONLY Policy

Always be very honest and up front with your clients. I am not implying that you would lie to them, in order to be encouraging you may not tell them just what you think. Even though we believe that people can do impossible things, you may hear a client talk of doing something unethical or inconsiderate. If you feel that the client is heading in the wrong direction, tell them so and why. Help them to see that they can achieve their dreams only by doing what is good and right and never by compromising their integrity.

It Is Easier To Direct A Moving Train

Get your client to take action as quickly as possible. It is in their action they will find direction, confidence and the ability to know if they are really heading in the right direction. Once someone is actively pursuing their dream you can give effective direction and guidance. It is always those who do nothing that are hardest to direct. Keep them moving forward and you will find that it becomes easier to encourage and believe in their dream.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Free Will Isn't Free

“Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love

or goodness or joy worth having.”

– C.S. Lewis

(1898-1963) Author

Free will is an odd thing. We want it and yet we don't. We want to be able to exercise our free will but at the same time stop others from exercising theirs. It is one thing to claim that we believe in freedom of choice, speech, decisions and actions and yet we create laws that take all those freedoms away. Free will however is the one freedom that no one can take from you.

Success-minded people know that there are those in this world, who, given the opportunity, will do what is dishonest and hurtful to others. They see that there are many who lack manners, a sense of good will or even basic kindness to others. It is easy to want to create laws and restrictions to stop these people, however, you cannot do that without taking away your own freedoms.

All freedoms; the freedom of speech that allows us to speak our minds; freedom of religion that allows us to worship where and how we choose; the freedom of the press that allows us to read what we want and when; all work for both good and evil. You cannot restrict one without restricting the others.

Former First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility." And this is the key to it all: Responsibility. You cannot make choices for other people. You cannot control the actions and thoughts of others. You can however be responsible for your own actions and therefore do your part to make the world better.

I know that many think that what they do does not matter in the big picture. If you are good or bad makes really no difference at all. That is very untrue. You matter a great deal and when you do wrong, we all suffer for it. When you do good, we all benefit.

Freedom is difficult at times. We all what to control or even eliminate evil from the world. That is not going to happen. There will always be evil people and those who do wrong. However, if we set the standard and help our clients to do right and make good choices, we can live better and happier lives. It is our freedom to make right decisions that will do the most good, not the restricting of freedom in others.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

No Need For A Nanny

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”

– Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

(1749-1832) German Writer

Have you, as a coach, ever had a client that seem to need your attention a lot? There are the times when they have set an appointment to meet, but then they will call you several time or send you emails or messages on social media. They are always at a loss as to what to do, what decisions to make or which way to go. For these people you really are not a coach, you are their nanny.

For those who are involved in life coaching, we understand that our position in a person's life is to, first listen, then give help with direction and working through the thinking process. The life coach is not a counselor or therapist. However, you will always have those who somehow believe you are (or should be) there for them whenever they need you. And they tend to need you allot.

Many times what these people are dealing with is fear. Fear to stand on their own. Fear that they may fail. Fear that they will make a wrong choice. We can all understand fear. Most of us have dealt with it ourselves throughout our lives. We know that it can be a hard grip on us. We also know that we can overcome fear with the help of Christ.

Here are the time that you can be compassionate and understanding, yet firm and helpful. Help the client know that you too have struggled with fear and that you found freedom through Christ. It is in learning to trust God and believe that He is in control that we build confidence and strength. After all, if we believe that the Creator of all things has control of our life, how can we fail? He who is in us IS truly greater than he (or anything else) that is in the world.

Once you have helped your client to understand that God is his/her source, and that He is always there to guide and direct, you will find that they are less dependent on you and more dependent on God. That is the way it should be.

The role of the life coach is to help your client learn to make good decisions, create plans, take action and stand on their own. The best way to do this is to help them trust the One who can develop all those qualities in them, Christ Himself.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Putting Butter On The Bread

“Remember, man does not live by bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.”

– John C. Maxwell

(1947- ) Author

When was the last time someone told you that you were great, just because you were? Allow me to be among those who openly appreciate and honor what you do. It is true that I do not know each and every one of you. It is also true that you really do not know me. But the greater truth is that I know you desire to improve the lives of others (or you would not be reading this) and for that I am deeply grateful.

Encouragement is a wonderful thing. When we are encouraged we feel a sense of value and importance. Encouragement often gives us that extra push up the hills of life. Isn't it amazing the God tends to bring it to us just when we need it.

The same is true for giving encouragement. When you are positive and encourage others to be their best and live with excellence, you in fact encourage yourself. It feels good to know that someone was made better by something you said or did. This is the real reward of the coach, to know that others will have a better life because you took the time to help.

Be a ready source of encouragement at all time. This of course means that you need to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude. A positive attitude is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It attracts people to it and it dissolves negativity in its tracks. You can face any challenge and improve any situation with a good positive attitude.

Go out and encourage someone today. Just a smile and a few kind words can do wonders in the world. Be the source of light for those who are in a dark place and a helping hand to the one who is struggling up the mountain of achievement.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Option

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.”

– Roger Crawford

(1960-) Tennis Champion

One of my favorite scene from the movie, Apollo 13, was when the folks in Huston had to come up with a way for the astronauts to clean the air in the space capsule with the things they had on hand. Here is where actor Ed Harris gives his famous line, "Failure is not an option." For those who you are coaching toward the pursuit of a dream or goal, you need to help them to understand that failure is not an option.

A mistake many people make when they are going after a dream or seeking change in life is that if the going gets tuff or too many difficulties arise, they can always quite. Here is a fact, if you have the option to quite, you will quite. Difficulties and hard times will come, there is just no getting away from it. It is what is called life. There will be challenges and hard decisions to make. If you believe there is an escape hatch you will use it.

The best way to help your client, and yourself to move beyond the hard times is to create a no failure policy. How do you do that? It happens when you refuse to accept the option to fail. You have an understand with yourself that no matter what happens, you will not give up or give in. It is believing in your dream and yourself to the point that it is impossible for you to fail.

When the difficult time and challenges come, you may need to change your approach. You will need to seek a new approach to solve your problems. This is the work of the coach. The coach is there to help them discover a new route to take or a different way to see the challenge. The coach is never there to encourage defeat or to change the dream or goal.

Challenges and struggles do not define our passion to achieve. They are just the reality of life and we all are actually made better by the battles we face. They teach us and refine us. However, only we can allow them to discourage us. Never think that because the road is hard that the goal is not worthwhile. The easy road is the one to worry about. If all life is a breeze you are not really living. Face the road ahead and remember, failure is not an option!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Know-It-All

“It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.”

– Aleck Bourne

(1886-1974) Author

We have all come across them. It is the person who believes and acts as if they know more than anyone else in the room. They have been to University and have all the degrees. Whenever a question is asked, they respond like they are put out by the ignorance that breeds such questions. They are the know-it-alls and they are everywhere.

One of the things that the know-it-all likes to do is look down on anyone who does not have the same level of education as they do. What is odd is that they do this even with people who are more successful than they are. They simply think that it is a fluke or some social injustice that has allowed it. In their mind, they are the superior beings and there is no question they are above you.

What happens too many times is that their intimidation works. Those who have not had the education they have had, even if they are more successful, feel inferior somehow to the know-it-all. Many in life coaching have had good training, however, we do not have degrees in counseling or psychology. We then start to think, do I really know enough to do this. Many coaches have missed out on wonderful opportunities simply because they felt they did not measure up.

Let's face some facts. One of the key elements of coaching is to be able to relate and help people. Coaches are servants and there to assist others in a time of need. The know-it-all is far to wrapped up in them self to really care about anyone else. Their narcissistic view of the world does not allow them the ability to be a coach. They may have stuffed their heads with facts, but their hearts are empty and void. They display the need for a coach rather than the ability to be a coach.

C.S. Lewis said, "Humility is not think less of yourself, but rather think of yourself less." As a life coach we are called to think less about ourselves and more about others. We recognize that their success is our success. The talents and abilities of others is not a threat but something to be celebrated. It is our heartfelt desire that others do better than we can and we are never resentful for their success.

Be who God has called you to be. Fulfill your purpose and do your best. Know that it is not the amount of knowledge you possess but what you do with that knowledge that matters. I believe in education and encourage everyone to always be learning and growing, however, life is the greatest teacher and all the books in the world will never replace experience. If God has called you to coaching, you have the best teacher in the universe, the Holy Spirit who will lead you into all truth. The Holy Spirit is not a know-it-all but He does know it all.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Showing The Way To Happiness

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there.”

– C.S. Lewis

(1888-1963) Author

Are you a Christian coach who coaches non-Christian people? Have you had the opportunity to do a workshop or seminar for a business or educational institution and asked not to being religion into the conversation? How do you handle this and is the spiritual aspect really that important? After all, the principles of success are relevant whether you are a believer or not. Or are they?

Like many of you, I have had to face this issue many times in my coaching career. For me it goes beyond the issues of respecting the beliefs of another and deals with my personal integrity. If I am being paid to help a person find a purpose and fulfillment in life, do I not have the responsibility to tell them the truth?

It is true that the principles of success are laws that do not change because of a person's beliefs. It is as the law of nature, gravity works whether you believe in it or not. No matter what you believe is the order, winter is followed by spring and then summer and then fall and back to winter. Never changing the order, never missing one or the other. So it is with the laws of success; if you follow the pattern you will achieve. However, part of that pattern is our spirit. To leave it out is like trying to leave fall out of the cycle of seasons.

How can I help you to fulfill your purpose in life and leave out the very Person who created you and your purpose? How can I help you to find happiness and completion as a person without introducing you to the One who makes you complete?

The truth is, you (or rather the client) may not accept that direction. Just because I tell you about Jesus does not make me responsible for you accepting Him. That is fully up to you. However, to not tell you of the hope, redemption, joy and completion Jesus can bring to your life is to not be honest with you and that is my responsibility.

I find it best to always be honest and up front with new clients or businesses who wish to use my services. I let them know that I am not a preacher or evangelist and that my focus is to help them find success in their journey. However, I am a Christian; it is not what I believe or my religion, it is who I am. Being a Christian I know that to find real fulfillment in life must include your relationship with Jesus Christ, to ask me to leave that out is asking me to lie and I will not do that.