Tuesday, June 24, 2014

There is a Cure for Boredom

“If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals.”
– Lou Holtz
(1937- ) Coach

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance.  It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.”
– St. Paul
Letter to the Colossians 3: 23-24  / NASV

Linda (not real name) was a middle school teacher.  She like teaching well enough and was at a good school.  Linda wanted to talk with me because she felt she needed something more in her life but did not know what.  After a short time of her telling me all that she didn't want to do, I began to see all the classic symptoms: disinterest in everything, indifference to new ideas or opportunities, lack of willingness to make changes and a general sense of hopelessness - Linda was bored!

                I am sure many of you have experienced a Linda in your practice.  Sadly, the world is full of bored people.  Boredom is one of the hardest battles to face simply because people who are bored will not do anything to get out of it.  It is like dealing with your kids (if you have some). 
Little Billy:  "I'm bored!"
You:  "Go outside and play."
Little Billy:  "There's nothing to do."
You:  "Find something to do."
Little Billy:  "Like what?"
You:  "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
Little Billy:  "I don't know.  Nothing."
And this goes on forever!

                Boredom can make your client seem like a little Billy in your office.  This is not uncommon but it is very frustrating.  So, what do you, as a coach, do to help?  Try these few ideas.

First: Point Out The Problem
                I can promise you that when you tell your client that the problem is they are bored they will say, "No I'm not!"  Two things that are very common in bored people, (1) they can't see that they are bored and (2) they do nothing to get out of it.  Help them to see that boredom is really nothing more than a lack for vision and passion to achieve.  In short, they do not have enough challenging goals.

Second:  Tell Them What to Do
                Now is the time for the coach to exercise some authority.  If you ask them what they want to do in life you will end up in the little Billy conversation.  They need you to be strong and push them out of this.  Start with telling them they must do an assignment right then and there.  Give them a paper and pen and have them begin to list all the things they are really good at.  Do not add a list of what they are not good at - they will stay there for hours.

Third:  Why are You Here
                Now, ask them why they are on this planet in the first place.  If they have sought out a coach they know they have a purpose.   When I was talking with Linda, her response was that she felt God has called her to be a teacher. 

Forth:  Restart the Fire
                I asked Linda what she would have to do to be the very best teacher in the school system?  What would she have to do to be the best in the state?  What are the things she would have to change in her life to become the very best teacher she could be?  Her assignment was to create an action plan for that achievement and bring it with her at the next visit - or there would be no next visit.

End of Story
                Linda came back the following week a changed person.  She told me that the more she worked on how she could be the best, the more excited she got.  This is true with all of us.  The problem with boredom is that we lose sight of what is possible.  In fact, the best cure for boredom is the believe you can do the impossible.  We all need a bit of the impossible in our life.

                You matter to the world.  You are here to make a difference and that difference is good.  Remember the qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best.  Love God.  Have good manners. Discover the unknown.  Change the world.

John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2014 John Patrick Hickey


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