Thursday, August 21, 2014

Three Things to Avoid In Talking

  “The more articulate one is, the more dangerous words become.”
– May Sarton
(1912-1995) Poet

"When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
but he who restrains his lips is wise"
- Solomon
The Book of Proverbs 10:19 / NASV

For success-minded people who are positive, excited about life and eager to help people, talking is something that does not come hard.  In fact, it is often what we do best.  That is not a bad thing, in fact, it is what helps us do all that we do for others.  Talking allows us to communicate, encourage, excite and inspire those who come to us for coaching.  It does however have its down side and there are a few things we should watch out for.  Here are three key areas that we must avoid in order to be the most helpful.

1)  Don't talk too much
                It is very easy for those of us who are positive and excited about life to go on and on.  We have so much to say and things are so wonderful that we can't help but want to share it.  However, the client is there to talk to us, not for us to talk to them.  Pay attention to how much you talk, even when you feel it can be helpful.  In the coaching session a good average is the client talks 75% of the time and you talk 20%.  The left over 5% is for some very welcome quiet.

2)  Don't talk too fast
                One of the things I discovered in writing is this: I may know what I am saying, but my reader may have no clue.  The same is with talking.  Remember, you worked, studies and researched to be a coach.  You have a good understanding about human behavior and what brings success.  Your client on the other hand may not.  If you talk fast and use terms that only coaches use, you just may lose the client.  Talk at an even pace and be clear.  Keep eye contact, and if the client looks like they are confused, stop and ask them if they follow you.

3)  Don't talk to impress
                For some, having knowledge is more of a badge of honor than a tool to be used.  We have all been with the person who loves to impress people with how much they know and all the big words they can spit at you.  Do not be that person.  Nothing will damage the coaching relationship more than to have your client feel you are talking down to them or that you are just a bunch of hot air.  You do not need to impress anyone.  It is not about you, it is about the client.  It is best to remember the words of businessman, Michael Dell who said, "Try never to be the smartest person in the room.  And if you are, I suggest you invite smarter people...or find a different room."

                You matter to the world.  You are here to make a difference and that difference is good.  Remember the qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best.  Love God.  Have good manners. Discover the unknown.  Change the world.


John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2014 John Patrick Hickey

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