Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Do It Yourself

“You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”
– Abraham Lincoln
(1809-1865) Former U.S. President

One of the things I have been known for in my coaching is giving homework.  In fact, I give some kind of an assignment after every coaching session.  All have to be written out, send back to me before our next talk.  Why do I do this?  It is not to keep people busy.  I believe that there is no success without action.  So my desire is to get you started taking some kind of action.

                Many in coaching know that you will occasionally find a person who does not want to do much work for themselves.  They have all the good excuses that they are too busy (like you have nothing to do), family problems, not feeling well and on and on.  They ask you to "help" them come up with a goal, set a plan and even pass on information to them that they could find themselves.

                Here is the real problem, some coaches actually do it.  Please remember this simple rule: Do not do anything that your client can do for him/her self.  No matter how simple it is or that you have ready access to some information, allow them to do it for themselves.  You can tell them where to find it, but let them find it.

                You are not being hard or unkind here, you are helping them to grow.  The better they learn how to discover information for themselves and how to design and plan out their goals, the faster they will not need a coach.  Coaching is not therapy.  There should always be an end to coaching in sight.  Otherwise, the client will start to slow down and just depend on the next session to get them through rather than their own work.

                I have a basic policy of only four coaching sessions (This is my way, I am not saying it is what you should do or that more sessions are a bad thing.  Just sharing my experience).  I feel that for the type of coaching I do, it should be done in four sessions and the person is on their way.  I am there to help with questions and issues along the way, but the regular sessions are done.  Going in, my clients know what to expect, what the homework will be and when I expect it.  I have found this to work very well.

                The best way to see progress and achievement come to a person's life is to allow them to do as much work on their own as you can.  Yes, they will make mistakes and have to do some things over, that is okay.  Mistakes are how we learn.  What they will gain is the ability to think ahead, set and plan of action and get things done.  That will bring them success.

                You matter to the world.  You are here to make a difference and that difference is good.  Remember the qualities of a real success-minded person: Be your best.  Love God.  Have good manners. Discover the unknown.  Change the world.


John Patrick Hickey is an author, speaker, and Life Coach. To read more from John Patrick Hickey or to get his books, training and book him to speak to your church, business or group, visit our website at http://www.growthcenter.net or www.johnpatrickhickey.com.   © 2014 John Patrick Hickey

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